“I was born the First of my kind. I have lived as One of my kind. I am the Last of my kind.”

Who is Dave: The Quickfire Guide

~ Dave was born into the world by a collision of imagination and philosophy. He’s still dizzy.

~ He wears a Thor’s Hammer pendant and plans to go to Valhalla when he’s done here so he can drink and fight forever. Who needs 42 virgins?

~ In high school Dave came up with his first philosophical phrase “Perfection is an illusion caused by the need for symmetry in life.” He hasn’t been able to stop coming up with more ever since. It’s remarkably annoying.

~ Dave is an aspiring author, a self taught guitarist, amateur philosopher, inspired empath and twisted humourist. He can also tie his own shoelaces.

~ Dave has an alter-ego called Evil Dave who manifests through his writing and causes mayhem in an almost Jekyll/Hyde capacity. Often with kitchen appliances and anything breakable Dave happens to own.

~ Dave chronicles the murky depths of his mind because, if he didn’t, he might have time to figure Life, The Universe and all existence out. This would be bad. Like unclogging a toilet backwards.

~Dave hopes you enjoy your time on his Chronicles. Evil Dave hopes you bring him a bottle of Jack Daniels or he’s going to come to your house and wear your housepets as gloves.